Natalia Velykaya

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    Feeling like you live someone else's life — what to do

    A familiar feeling

    On the outside everything can look fine, while inside it feels like living by someone else's script. This often intensifies after relocation, a change of roles, or a long stretch of obligation.

    It isn't a diagnosis or a weakness. It's a signal to listen to yourself more closely.

    Where it comes from

    Sometimes we live for years by others' expectations — family, environment, circumstances — and gradually stop hearing our own wishes.

    A psychoanalytic approach helps tell what is truly yours from what was absorbed from outside, and why some choices repeat.

    Where to start

    The first step is giving yourself space to think about it out loud, without rush or judgement. Often that alone restores a sense of footing.

    Then, gradually notice where you live on autopilot and try small choices in your own favour.

    Is it normal to feel this?

    Yes, it's a common feeling, especially during change. It can be worked through.

    Is this psychotherapy?

    No. This is a private coaching practice with a psychoanalytic background.

    Related service: Understand yourself

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